For you, always
by Bourbon Rose
Summary: During Bella's pregnancy, the stressed emotions are getting the better of Jasper. Alice is there to comfort him.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, I merely use it to fight boredom and feed my imagination.**

**A/N: First Fanfic. If I made mistakes, please, do feel free to inform me of that. Timeline is during Breaking Dawn, Bella is highly pregnant, everyone is stressed out.**

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We were all at home, save Carlisle and Emmett – they were gone for a hunt. They tried to bring their significant others along, but Esme didn't want to leave Bella who was clearly having a bad day and Rosalie flat out refused, distrusting Edward to be alone with Bella and most importantly the baby. Why she still couldn't trust Edward was beyond me, like he was going to rip Bella's stomach out and let her bleed to death. It was too late to be useful to Bella anyway, I thought sadly.

We were all gathered in the living room – apart from Jasper – trying to appear calm for Bella's sake. Esme had a book in her lap, but I saw her stealing occasional glances at Bella whenever she moaned, winced or even moved a finger. Rosalie sat in a chair, watching Bella carefully and trying to make it her as comfortable as possible. Edward and Bella were in a soft conversation, Edward looking terrible with black eyes and deep bruises underneath them and Bella in obvious pain and discomfort – whatever Rose and Edward tried to prevent that. Jasper was currently upstairs, doing I don't know what. Maybe research for what Bella was carrying. Emmett and he had been doing that since day one, but they still hadn't found anything useful. I was sitting against the wall next to Seth – the nicest of the werewolves – who was sleeping. My headaches were finally gone and I rested my head gratefully against the wall, sighing contently. Esme looked at me, more worry in her dark golden eyes.

From the corner of my eye I saw Edward glancing toward the ceiling, he looked a bit worried. His eyes found mine and I frowned.

_Jasper?_

He nodded and my concern flared.

I stood up, walked up the stairs and entered the room Jasper and I shared.

Immediately, my concern peaked and my eyes grew wide with anxiety.

Jasper was sitting in the middle of our bed cross legged, his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers tied firmly in his honey blond hair. He was clearly miserable and my dead heart dropped with agitation. I moved to sit opposite of him and touched his arm gently.

"Jazz?"

He turned his face to peak at me and it startled me to see that his eyes were very dark, despite the hunting trip we took yesterday. He looked down again.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head and looked up at me tiredly. "Nothin', really."

I didn't buy that, as he should know. "Jazz, tell me what it is."

He sighed, clearly exhausted. "It's just…" he untied his hand to wave it in the air. "Everyone is so… sad and afraid and concerned… and everyone is worrying, desperate, hopeless…" He trailed off and his hand went back to tug on his hair. "Esme and Carlisle are so troubled and anxious and sad. Rose and Em are feeling aggravated, helpless, useless. Bella is pained and scared. You are worried, terrified and distressed. Edward is…" he shook his head, lost for words, and hissed pained. He collapsed in himself and let out a tiny sob.

Instant guilt.

_How_ could I forget what this would do to Jasper? _Of course_ he would feel everybody's emotions, of course he would suffer from them, even _I_ could feel the depressing tension. How could I be so thoughtless?

I crawled in his lap and hugged him tightly, trying to put away my own worries and fears and pouring as much love and peace in my embrace in the hope he would feel it. He let go of his hair and pulled me against him. He buried his face in the hollow between my neck and shoulder and inhaled deeply.

"Thank you," he murmured against my skin.

"I'm so sorry, Jazz..."

"For what could you possibly be sorry for?" his voice was devoid of emotion and my guilt spiked before I muffled it carefully away, not wanting any more bad emotions getting in Jasper's system.

"For not being there for you," I bit my lip and pulled one hand from his back to stroke the back of his head affectionately.

"Don't be sorry, Lis. You have your own worries, your headaches…" he signed. "Ain't nothin' you can do 'bout it, regardless," he drawled slowly.

"Wouldn't it be better to go outside?" I whispered in his hair. I turned my head to kiss his cheek softly.

"No, 'cause when I come back, it'll be worse."

"But you're hurting, Jazz…"

He shook his head stubbornly.

I didn't argue any further, instead soothed the curls in his neck, concerned again. His accent only came out evidently when he was upset or excited. And he obviously wasn't excited now.

For a moment we sat there, the tension never leaving his body. He occasionally murmured his gratitude against my skin, while I tried to focus on all my love, all my devotion for him. We heard the front door opening, announcing the return of Carlisle and Emmett. Luckily for me, Seth didn't wake up, his soft snores filling the quiet house.

I heard Carlisle and Esme greet and speak softly with each other for a while.

"How are you, Bella?" I heard Carlisle asking.

I'm good," was her response, to which we all grew so accustomed to. "I'm… oops." I heard something slip out of her hands and clatter loudly on the ground.

"Stay still, I'll get it," was Rosalie's quick mutter.

I heard the couch squeak, followed by a loud crack and Bella's pained cry. My breathing became heavy with worry and my despair multiplied in tenfold. I heard Edward's desperate plea to Carlisle to _do something_ and there was a shuffle of noise downstairs.

I felt Jasper clench his teeth and he whimpered quietly. He buried his face closer against me, while my grip on him tightened, trying to stop him shivering. I snuggled my face in his hair, making soothing circles with my hand on his back. "It'll be alright, it'll be alright…" I kept chanting those words, trying to console us both, trying to stop his anguished sobs.

I started to concentrate on the _good_ emotions again. Love, devotion, contentment, peace… If I let myself get carried away with dread and sadness it would only make things worse. The close contact Jasper and I had would make the emotions only stronger for him. I kissed him softly on his hair. His delicious scent caressed my nostrils and calmed myself a little bit.

I heard fast approaching feet in the hallway, bringing Bella to Carlisle's office, and I wished I had had the sense to close the door. I didn't have the nerve to ask Edward, since he probably would be to occupied with Bella. Hell, _everybody_ was occupied with Bella.

_But not me, not now_, I thought by myself. _Jasper, focus on Jazz. I love you, I love you, I _love_ you._

I heard a gasp and looked up to see a horror stricken Esme standing in our doorway. Her eyes were wide with fear and distress. Behind her was Emmett who looked concerned over her shoulder, before he was being pulled away by Rosalie.

"Jasper?" If Esme could cry, she would have.

Jasper moaned ever so slightly and I pulled him – impossibly – closer against me.

Esme walked towards us, face full of agitation.

"The emotions are running havoc right now," I whispered as an explanation.

Esme understood immediately and I saw her inhale and exhale deeply before putting her hand on his shoulder. I could feel him relax a tiny bit and gave my mother a small smile.

"Thank you, Mom."

She sat next to us on the bed and stroked Jasper's back softly. She gave him a affectionate look, before looking up at me.

"How long has this been going on? Why didn't he tell?"

I shook my head sadly. "He didn't want to worry us any further, I guess…" if I knew my husband well enough – and I think I had the privilege of claiming that – I knew this would be the reason. "I found him like this just a few moments ago," guilty again, "I was to occupied with keeping that _stupid_ headache away…"

Esme stroked my cheek gently. "You couldn't do anything. Don't berate yourself, dear." She sighed miserably. "Nonetheless… I'm sorry, too, Jazz," she bent forward to plant a kiss on his head.

"Don't," muttered Jasper, his voice dead and tired. I kissed him lovingly on his cheek and Esme brushed some stray locks from his hidden face.

"What happened with Bella?" I asked Esme, trying to stop the hurtful emotions from rushing to the surface.

"Her cup of juice slipped out of her hands and then she bent over to pick it up. Apparently it was too much for her body," she pulled her hand back from Jasper and wrapped it around her body. "I'd better check up on her."

I nodded. She stood up, looked down on Jazz and me and with a last comforting stroke over both our heads she walked out of our room.

I was so glad Seth was still here, otherwise it would have been a lot harder to focus on my content emotions.

Emmett's head peaked in our room.

"How's he holding up?" he nodded towards Jasper.

I shook my head and bit my lip.

"Anything I can do?"

I began to shake my head, but thought better of it. "Yes, actually. Can you tell Seth to stay? I can't be distracted with those annoying headaches right now." I hoped Seth would do that for me – for Jazz actually. He _was_ the nice werewolf, after all.

"Yeah, I'll do that. I won't let him escape the house," he laughed evilly, winked at me and left.

"Thank you," I murmured, knowing he would hear me.

After a long while, I felt Jasper relax a tiny bit and he moved his head to kiss me on my neck.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

He chuckled lifelessly and kissed me again. "I bet that's not true," his voice was almost unintelligible.

I giggled, despite the situation. "I _hope_ that's not true, for your sake," I teased him. My cheek brushed against his.

He sighed and kissed my neck once more. He pulled away a bit and looked me in my eyes. His were all black again. I pouted slightly and caressed his cheek and the bruises underneath his eyes with my thumb.

"We'll have to hunt again."

He shrugged dully and I pulled him down to lie on the bed. I moved to put his head on my chest and began to play with his blond curls, while he made soothing circles with his thumb on my arm.

"Not now," he breathed.

I agreed. "Let's rest for awhile."

I felt his slow nod against my chest.

After a while he turned his head a bit to kiss my belly. "Thank you, Alice."

"For you, always, Jazz."

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**Pfew, I just replaced all ' with " and corrected some other things. Well, back to learning math! Ugh, I hate finals... But after that, I have a story ready, yay! My computer just broke, so yeah, I stole my brother's for now, but I don't think he would be happy with that. Hmm... Well, learning it is, then...**


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